Wake up call.

Today, I received a phone call. Bad news.

To be honest, deep down, I always knew that this was gonna happen one day.

I always didn't want to admit it.

Now, I feel utterly demotivated and disappointed.

I used to believe that I was smart.
Not a genius, but someone capable of intelligent conversations.

But, after that phone call..

..I could only hear, "Ellen, you're fucking stupid" in my head.

Yeah, I could always blame the causal of my uncontrollable emotions last year.

I could make an excuse and say it was all their fault.

But who am I kidding.

No matter how you comfort me or what you say, I will always know that it was my own doing.

And the worse part is, there is nothing I can do about it. :')

I wasn't like this before. I swear I wasn't.

Where is Ellen. Where has she gone to?

len.